my johnny depp lover

a few months ago i had an amazing dream that i will never forget. i still remember it from this day. it started off me being on Americas Next Top Model tv show. Tyra Banks is the host of that show. well in my dream, Johnny was the host. there was this huge fight between some girls and johnny asked to talk to me privately because i witnessed the entire thing. well after talking he needed to go to wal-mart (or some store of the sort). so we went there and we ended up playing peek-a-boo in the aisles. he made a really funny face and i just fell to the floor laughing. he came over to me and did the same thing. while we were still laughing he looked into my eyes and gave me the most romantic kiss that i've experienced (even in my real life too!). it was one of those perfect kisses that you see in movies and say "now how come that never happens to me?". then he told me that since i entered the competition that he hasn't been able to take his eyes off me. then he asked me to move to paris with him in his house. of course i said yes.

again, i ask myself.... HOW COME THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO ME IN REAL LIFE. hahaha.

in my dreams,
dawny depp

dangerous Crocodile

oh man i had this dream last night that my friend, her boyfriend, joe, and i went down to Florida because they moved there. we went exploring in their backyard (which was HUGE) and it looked like a rain forest. we were walking in what looked like a little canyon with vines hanging from trees. we went up to this mini lake/pond and tossed in some bread crumbs to see some fish. well i spotted this crocodile quietly swimming towards us so i told them to run. well we took off and about 10 crocodiles appeared out of no where and was running at full speed after us. joe was fast and was so far ahead of us that her and i didn't even see him anymore. we were trying to climb a vine to get to the high wall of the canyon. i was running and looking behind and saw this HUGE croc snapping his mouth at me. he was like a foot from me. i swung on a vine and got out of snapping distance. i'm not sure if my friend made it or not though... i woke up after i got out of harms way.

--->To see a crocodile in your dream, forewarns of hidden danger. Someone near you is giving you bad advice and is trying to sway you into poor decisions. The crocodile may be an aspect of yourself and your aggressive and "snappy" attitude. Or maybe it reveals that you have displayed some false emotions and shedding "crocodile tears". To dream that you are chased or bitten by a crocodile, denotes disappointments in love and in business.

--->To see a cannon in your dream, suggests that there is something drastic that needs to be done immediately.

--->To dream that you are trying to run but cannot make your feet move as fast as you want them to, signifies lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It may also reflect your actual state of REM paralysis while in the dream state.

my analogy.... I'm guessing for the crocodile i am disappointed in my job. the night i dreamed that i had a stressful/semi drama day at work. this guy there is 26 and acts like a high school girl. everyone hates him and i learned that he tried to get me fired a few months ago. maybe he is the crocodile. As for the cannon i think that means my job. i really do need to change jobs. for me not running as fast as i can means that the job that i'm at right now is my safety net. i've been there for 2 years and i dont think i have enough confidence to get a new better job.

keep your head up,

dawn

blaqk cloud

the other night i had a dream that i found a stray puppy outside our house that looked like my dog. i walked around with him in my arms and i refused to put him down. my mom was standing in the living room looking our our huge window at the sky. a HUGE black cloud was coming our way and it looked like it was forming a tornado. i think it was a tornado, but it never hit land. i kept on saying how happy i was that the puppy wasn't outside in the bad weather. i did want to go outside and observe, but everyone was yelling at me how crazy i was and that we should be in the basement. then i woke up.

---> To see gray and gloomy clouds in your dream, signify depression or anger. Your decisions may be clouded in some way.

---> To see menacing or stormy clouds in your dream, indicates an impending eruption of emotions. It also represents a lack of wisdom or confusion in some situation.

---> To dream that you are taking care of some puppies, indicates that you are a trustworthy and loyal friend especially in difficult times.

---> To see a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. Is there a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive?

whirlwind,
Dawn

He Can Only Hold Her

He can only hold her for so long
The lights are on but no one's home
She's so vacant
Her soul is taken
He thinks what she's running from

Now how can he have her heart
When it got stole?
so he tries to pacify her
Cause what's inside her never dies

Even if she's content in his warmth
She is pained with urgency
Urgent kisses
The man she misses
The man that he longs to be

Now how can he have her heart
When it got stole?
so he tries to pacify her
Cause what's inside her never dies

another year another tear... let the good times roll

well it has officially been over a year since my grandpa died (10/30). my family was sad, of course on the official year mark. i slept in till 3 and laid around watching tv all day. i couldn't bring myself to do anything other than that. life goes on, i guess.

halloween is gone also. last year (obviously) i didn't celebrate halloween. i went to a halloween party last weekend then on halloween i went to a bar all dressed up. this year, i was a zebra. my costume effects were pretty fucking cool. it looked almost... high fashion. well i have another halloween party to go to tomorrow night. no more zebra though. i went to the halloween stores around town since everything is now 1/2 off. i tried on some costumes (alice in wonderland, slutty harry potter, etc) but the skirts came up to my crotch basically so i didn't buy them. i settled on some fake blood, wicked cool eyelashes and some vampire teeth. i'm gonna wear my corpse bride dress my mom made for me a few years ago and turn that into a vampire, somehow. it should be uber fantastic.

i'm done waiting on a boy. it's fucked up and i lost interest already due to him being an asshole. if he comes around again... too late so sorry, betch!

it's november. how did the year go by so fast?

it's over before you know it,
Dawn

restless times

i really need a change in life. i'm very bored, lonely, and restless.
i need... my friends, new job, to ace my math test tomorrow, new music discoveries, go to a concert, re-connect with old friends, move away to a foreign land, see my dead grandpa, get incredibly shit faced, travel all over the world, go on a game show and earn some fat cash, and the list goes on and on. most of all i want a guy who i can tell all my friends that i love him with all my heart.
i over analyze too much. maybe i should just follow my heart and ignore what my head is yelling at me.
...or maybe i just need to change myself and not change the things around me.


"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the answer is always there."

question mark,
dawn

peacock dream

the other night i had a dream that i was in my living room and all these baby peacocks were hatching. it was hard not to step on them.

--> To see a peacock in your dream, represents spring, birth, and new growth. It is a good omen, signaling prestige, much success and contentment with your career. It may also be telling of your confidence and even arrogance over your success.
Maybe the hatching peacocks mean that a part of me is trying to re-grow or start over. Then me not trying to step on the babies mean that i'm trying not crush my new growth?