beware of the bear

Last night i was in alaska. i was walking in a green field and i suddenly remembered that there were bears there. then a grizzly bear stood on its back legs to look over a small hill it was behind and saw me. i started to run and it was following me. there are bare trees in my way and slows me down in running. my friend was in it too, but i don't know if he was trying to help me or i was running to warn him of the bear.
-->To dream that you are being pursued or attacked by a bear, denotes aggression, overwhelming obstacles and competition. You may find yourself in a threatening situation.

-->To see a bear in your dream, symbolizes independence, the cycle of life, death and renewal. It may signal of period of introspection and thinking. The dream may also be a pun on "bare". Perhaps you need to bare your soul and let everything out into the open.

The bears is reflecting a situation that i am afraid in confronting. The bear is symbolic of introspection and self-reflection. The green fields indicates my hopes and my unlimited potential for growth.

bloody knife

soon after my gun dream i dreamed that i was slicing peoples throats with a sword/knife like i was going on a rampage.
To dream of a sword, means it can be seen as a phallic symbol and thus represent masculine power. To dream that you are carrying a knife, signifies anger, aggression and/or separation. There may be something in your life that you need to cut out and get rid of. Alternatively, the knife may be symbolic of something divisive in your life. You may be attempting to cut ties or sever some relationship.
To see your throat in your dream, symbolizes the ability to express yourself and communicate your thoughts/ideas. To dream that others are bleeding, signifies an emotional cry for help.
so the knife means anger and when i use it on the throat... i'm expressing myself in anger and when i see the blood i'm crying out for help when i do so.

guns go bang bang

i've been lazy keeping track of my dreams. last night in my dreams a gang was after me but somehow i managed to get their guns and shoot them multiple times.

-->To dream that you are confronted or threatened by a gang, signifies circumstances or situations in your waking life that are becoming overwhelming. You feel that you are being ganged up on.

after i was shooting them we reconciled and teamed up....... in my dream last night a gang was after me but somehow i managed to get their guns and shoot them multiple times.

-->To dream that you are a gang member, signifies your need to achieve and accomplish things through force and intimidation. The dream draws attention to the primitive, unruly aspect of yourself.

-->To dream that you shoot someone with a gun, denotes your aggressive feelings and hidden anger toward that particular person.

-->To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun, suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You may feel victimized in some situation.

-->To see a gun in your dream, symbolizes aggression, anger, and potential danger. You may be dealing with issues of passiveness/aggressiveness and authority/dependence.

so basically i have anger issues in my real life lol

all i wanna do is boom boom boom boom,
dawn

davey havok dream...

this is one of my most FAVORITE dreams. i woke up at 10am when it was 3/4 done. i fell back asleep and the dream actually continued. this is my 2nd dream with davey in it. here it goes...
my friend lynzi and i got picked from a contest to get our teeth whitened and meet davey. i ended up going first. i went in a separate room, laid on my stomach on a bed and the dentists put me under the "happy gas". then davey entered and laid on my left side. there was a slide show of afi music videos. i could hear davey kind of singing the words to himself. i was too embarrassed to even look at him. i was defiantly star struck. then he turned, looked at me, took off my gas mask and started singing TO me. this is when i almost fainted. just like the picture from above that's the only part of his face that i could see. i can still remember the details on his face. like the creases at the outer parts of his eyes, the texture of his skin and of course his lip ring. he also had his nose pierced on the his left side twice right next to each other. i asked why and he said he didn't really know. we started to ignore the afi slide show playing on the wall. we laid on our sides face to face. the dentists were getting kind of annoyed because they still had to do my teeth whitening. then the best part came.... he started to kiss me. very passionately. it was heaven. then lynzi started to walk in and totally ruined the moment. she wanted his autograph and luckily we stopped kissing before she came in or else she would have been pissed at me. she left and he told me that he wants me to take a walk with him. there was an afi concert outside the place where we were so he went in disguise. i ended up losing him through the mass of people. i stayed in the crowd lost in my own thoughts of what just happened. then a hand embraced mine and pulled me to a clearing. it was davey. he said 'i thought i lost you'. we went back to where the dentists still were. they asked if they could start the whitening process and davey kept on saying no, i'm not done hanging out with her yet. he told me that he wanted me to go first because he was spying on me through the curtains and knew that i was the girl for him. i told him that we met before (which actually happened in real life) and he didn't believe me for some reason haha. then i woke up which is very unfortunate. never the less, i will cherish this dream until the day i die.
--->To smell or see gas in your dream, indicates that your need to be re energized. There may be a situation in your life that you are having difficulty in getting a handle on.
--->Dreaming that you are visiting a dentist might mean you're subconsciously seeking help or answers in the area of self-expression or self-nurturing, or your own intentions to improve yourself in these areas.
--->To dream of a kiss, denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment.
--->To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals.
--->To see lips in your dream, signifies sensuality, sex, love, and romance.
soooo maybe this dream means that i'm lost with my goals for love, harmony and romance. maybe davey represents a guy in general to find me from being lost? who knows. it was still a fucking awesome dream!!!!

my johnny depp lover

a few months ago i had an amazing dream that i will never forget. i still remember it from this day. it started off me being on Americas Next Top Model tv show. Tyra Banks is the host of that show. well in my dream, Johnny was the host. there was this huge fight between some girls and johnny asked to talk to me privately because i witnessed the entire thing. well after talking he needed to go to wal-mart (or some store of the sort). so we went there and we ended up playing peek-a-boo in the aisles. he made a really funny face and i just fell to the floor laughing. he came over to me and did the same thing. while we were still laughing he looked into my eyes and gave me the most romantic kiss that i've experienced (even in my real life too!). it was one of those perfect kisses that you see in movies and say "now how come that never happens to me?". then he told me that since i entered the competition that he hasn't been able to take his eyes off me. then he asked me to move to paris with him in his house. of course i said yes.

again, i ask myself.... HOW COME THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO ME IN REAL LIFE. hahaha.

in my dreams,
dawny depp

dangerous Crocodile

oh man i had this dream last night that my friend, her boyfriend, joe, and i went down to Florida because they moved there. we went exploring in their backyard (which was HUGE) and it looked like a rain forest. we were walking in what looked like a little canyon with vines hanging from trees. we went up to this mini lake/pond and tossed in some bread crumbs to see some fish. well i spotted this crocodile quietly swimming towards us so i told them to run. well we took off and about 10 crocodiles appeared out of no where and was running at full speed after us. joe was fast and was so far ahead of us that her and i didn't even see him anymore. we were trying to climb a vine to get to the high wall of the canyon. i was running and looking behind and saw this HUGE croc snapping his mouth at me. he was like a foot from me. i swung on a vine and got out of snapping distance. i'm not sure if my friend made it or not though... i woke up after i got out of harms way.

--->To see a crocodile in your dream, forewarns of hidden danger. Someone near you is giving you bad advice and is trying to sway you into poor decisions. The crocodile may be an aspect of yourself and your aggressive and "snappy" attitude. Or maybe it reveals that you have displayed some false emotions and shedding "crocodile tears". To dream that you are chased or bitten by a crocodile, denotes disappointments in love and in business.

--->To see a cannon in your dream, suggests that there is something drastic that needs to be done immediately.

--->To dream that you are trying to run but cannot make your feet move as fast as you want them to, signifies lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It may also reflect your actual state of REM paralysis while in the dream state.

my analogy.... I'm guessing for the crocodile i am disappointed in my job. the night i dreamed that i had a stressful/semi drama day at work. this guy there is 26 and acts like a high school girl. everyone hates him and i learned that he tried to get me fired a few months ago. maybe he is the crocodile. As for the cannon i think that means my job. i really do need to change jobs. for me not running as fast as i can means that the job that i'm at right now is my safety net. i've been there for 2 years and i dont think i have enough confidence to get a new better job.

keep your head up,

dawn

blaqk cloud

the other night i had a dream that i found a stray puppy outside our house that looked like my dog. i walked around with him in my arms and i refused to put him down. my mom was standing in the living room looking our our huge window at the sky. a HUGE black cloud was coming our way and it looked like it was forming a tornado. i think it was a tornado, but it never hit land. i kept on saying how happy i was that the puppy wasn't outside in the bad weather. i did want to go outside and observe, but everyone was yelling at me how crazy i was and that we should be in the basement. then i woke up.

---> To see gray and gloomy clouds in your dream, signify depression or anger. Your decisions may be clouded in some way.

---> To see menacing or stormy clouds in your dream, indicates an impending eruption of emotions. It also represents a lack of wisdom or confusion in some situation.

---> To dream that you are taking care of some puppies, indicates that you are a trustworthy and loyal friend especially in difficult times.

---> To see a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. Is there a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive?

whirlwind,
Dawn

He Can Only Hold Her

He can only hold her for so long
The lights are on but no one's home
She's so vacant
Her soul is taken
He thinks what she's running from

Now how can he have her heart
When it got stole?
so he tries to pacify her
Cause what's inside her never dies

Even if she's content in his warmth
She is pained with urgency
Urgent kisses
The man she misses
The man that he longs to be

Now how can he have her heart
When it got stole?
so he tries to pacify her
Cause what's inside her never dies

another year another tear... let the good times roll

well it has officially been over a year since my grandpa died (10/30). my family was sad, of course on the official year mark. i slept in till 3 and laid around watching tv all day. i couldn't bring myself to do anything other than that. life goes on, i guess.

halloween is gone also. last year (obviously) i didn't celebrate halloween. i went to a halloween party last weekend then on halloween i went to a bar all dressed up. this year, i was a zebra. my costume effects were pretty fucking cool. it looked almost... high fashion. well i have another halloween party to go to tomorrow night. no more zebra though. i went to the halloween stores around town since everything is now 1/2 off. i tried on some costumes (alice in wonderland, slutty harry potter, etc) but the skirts came up to my crotch basically so i didn't buy them. i settled on some fake blood, wicked cool eyelashes and some vampire teeth. i'm gonna wear my corpse bride dress my mom made for me a few years ago and turn that into a vampire, somehow. it should be uber fantastic.

i'm done waiting on a boy. it's fucked up and i lost interest already due to him being an asshole. if he comes around again... too late so sorry, betch!

it's november. how did the year go by so fast?

it's over before you know it,
Dawn

restless times

i really need a change in life. i'm very bored, lonely, and restless.
i need... my friends, new job, to ace my math test tomorrow, new music discoveries, go to a concert, re-connect with old friends, move away to a foreign land, see my dead grandpa, get incredibly shit faced, travel all over the world, go on a game show and earn some fat cash, and the list goes on and on. most of all i want a guy who i can tell all my friends that i love him with all my heart.
i over analyze too much. maybe i should just follow my heart and ignore what my head is yelling at me.
...or maybe i just need to change myself and not change the things around me.


"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the answer is always there."

question mark,
dawn

peacock dream

the other night i had a dream that i was in my living room and all these baby peacocks were hatching. it was hard not to step on them.

--> To see a peacock in your dream, represents spring, birth, and new growth. It is a good omen, signaling prestige, much success and contentment with your career. It may also be telling of your confidence and even arrogance over your success.
Maybe the hatching peacocks mean that a part of me is trying to re-grow or start over. Then me not trying to step on the babies mean that i'm trying not crush my new growth?

chipmunks

yesterday i was at my grandmas house painting her deck. she lives on about 2 acres of woodland. she put out some bird seed by the feeder and underneath it. chipmunks came out right away to start eating their dinner. i was standing still about 3 feet away from them. after about 5 minutes i got 1 foot away from them. it took a few minutes of patience for them to adjust to my closeness. after about 5 minutes of that new position i got even closer and sat on the grass. it took even more time for them to get their food because i was so close to it. pretty soon some of the chipmunks came out to get their food, but they were more cautious getting it. i stayed there for awhile and then i got right up to their food pile of seed. to add more of a presence, i held a nice big sunflower seed in my hand. it took a lot of patience this time because they were very iffy. there was one chipmunk the entire time who was the first one to have the guts to get the food. once the other chipmunks noticed that when he was eating literally inches from me that i was no threat, they all came to eat. none of them ate out of my hand though. i put the sunflower seed right in front of their noses, but they pushed it out of their face. i felt them shove it. it was so adorable. i then tried a piece of bread crust. they pushed it out of the way again. at multiple times once the chipmunks were used to me 5 of them were surrounding me. it was amazing. every time i made sudden movement like when a mosquito was bothering me they all scattered away. when i made very minimal movement the chipmunks tail would fan out then when i was still again it de-fan. i think that if i repeated those steps continuously then the chipmunks would be used to me and be relaxed more. i love studying animal behavior.

keep your eyes open,
dawn

dreams really do come true

i attended the blaqk audio show last night. as for the people who don't know them... it is davey havok and jade puget's side band from AFI. it was BEYOND my wildest dream. first of all i got front and center RIGHT by daveys mic stand. the stage was as high as my hips (which is kinda short). davey was literally less than a foot from me the entire show. when he was at the mic he was towering over me. a few times his saliva landed on my face. when they came on and sang their first song something was wacking me in the face. it took only a few seconds of confusion to figure out that davey was whipping his mic cord in the air. it kinda hurt. oh well. all of us in the front row was dancing non stop the entire show. jade looked like a little kid behind the synthesizers. when he came out to dance with davey during 'boys and girls' all i did was laugh. he was ADORABLE. either i was dancing or just standing there in awe at what was happening before my eyes. i rubbed my fingers on daveys shoes a few times (just to say that i touched him). his hand was right in front of my face many times and it was so tempting to hold it. i was scared. that's why i touched his shoe. at the end of the show i was yelling jades name and we caught eye contact. he came over to give me a low 5. then my heart skipped. i stayed about an hour after the show in front of their tour bus. the crowd was huge in the beginning, but as the minutes ticked by the majority of people left. yay. then smith (jades brother) came out to those who remained waiting that dave will come out to only sign autographs. no pictures or hugs. when it was my turn i didn't even know he took my ticket stub. i said "davey, you whipped your mic cord in my face". his facial expression (already from smiling) changed to concern said "i'm so sorry, are you ok?". i don't remember what i said. after seeing afi twice and now blaqk audio once i can finally say that i got to meet him after 6 years of devotion.

this whole experience was like a dream that i'll never forget.
AFI is my blood.
DxH is my soul.

two faced people

my tight nit best friends are moving further and further away from me. the thing that angers me the most is that i didn't do anything to cause it. i am done with people who treat me like shit. im keep on giving and giving until there is nothing left to give. when i do that, i get nothing back in return. it sounds like my past relationships. there are way too many jerks in the world. that's what makes me want to move away from here and start fresh. small towns are so awesome. the people there are super nice and friendly. this town used to be like that. then too many douche bags moved here from chicago. damn richies. i'm just feeling hurt at the moment by my best friend.

"I offer grace,
I offer blood.
I offer everything till my heart is crystal clear"

engagement

last night i had a dream that i was to be engaged to someone who i didn't really know, but i loved them.

---> To dream that you are engaged to be married, represents sexual or relationship needs. You may be trying to resolve your feelings of loneliness

dying dog/stripper pole

i'm keep on having repeating dreams of my pet dog dying. i've had it at least twice this week. last night he actually died in my dream. my dog is 13 years old and deaf.
---> If the dog is dead or dying, it represents a deterioration of your instincts. Also consider common notions associated with the word dog, such as loyalty ("man's best friend") and to be "treated like a dog".
i have no idea what that dream means



the other dream i had last night was that there was a pole dancing contest a beach. there was a very tall building that we had to climb up to then go on the pole. 2 poles were right next to each other so my twin went with me. the pole was 5 stories high so we were strapped into a harness just in case there was a mistake. my twin was doing much better than me. i just went down really slow and barely did any tricks. i didn't know which way was down and i was very confused. maybe i was scared of heights. finally my twin somehow came over to my pole and helped me. i reached into my pocket and i had a lot of money in there from people giving me (somehow haha). eventually when i got closer to the ground i stepped my game up and gave a great performance.
---> To dream that you are afraid of heights, denotes that you are striving for goals that seem beyond your reach.
---> To see or use a harness in your dream, symbolizes control and lack of freedom. Perhaps you feel that you are being held back either by your own fears or by others.

this makes sense because lately i've really wanted to move away from here. i'm bored with my everyday life. i want to just pick up and move to colorado or somewhere in europe. i'm scared to move away on my own. since my grandpa died last year my grandma has been on her own and is constantly asking my family for help (since she lives very close by). i also take her out every week for her shopping. i feel tied down by them. therefore, the harness and heights.

dead relatives in dreams

my grandpa died in october of 2006. a few months i had a dream that i was at my grandmas house (she is still alive) with my extended family. they were all standing on the stairs that head to the 2nd floor. on the bottom of the stairs was my grandpa, but he was about 3 feet tall. i got on my knees and hugged him really tight then asked why he was so short. he laughed and said everyone is this tall in heaven.
yesterday my grandma and i were talking and she said yesterday morning she woke up at 8am. she decided to go back to sleep. in that time frame she had a dream that her husband was sitting on a little childrens chair. a big chair was right next to him. he said... this isn't comfortable. my grandma said why are you sitting there. then they laughed because it was silly. she told me it was the 2nd time she had a dream about him when she went back to bed at 8 and woke up at 10.

---> To see your dead sibling, relative, or friend alive in your dream, indicates that you miss them and are trying to relive your old experiences you had with them. In trying to keep up with the pace of your daily waking life, you dreams may serve as your only outlet in coping and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.

so my grandma and i had a dream about him with short things. he was short in my dream and he was sitting in a short chair in her dream.
---> To dream that someone or something is smaller than usual, represents feelings of insignificance, helplessness and unworthiness.

2 days ago i had a dream of my other grandma (who died in late 2004 of Alzheimer's). i was greeting some children at my front door and i heard my dead grandma shouting her own name from the room she died in. her room is the one that you would see directly down a hall (just like the picture to the left). i looked down the hall and everything in the room was white and bright and i saw the outline of her walking out (just like how they have it in movies when angles come from heaven). then she started yelling my mothers name. i gave her a hug and she didn't know who i was. it was a blizzard outside and she just walked right outside into it and vanished.
--> If the brightness is blinding, then it suggests that you are not paying attention to some new insights.

wolf dream

last night i had a dream that i was in my backyard and a mother with 3 wolf pups made a home in the corner of our fence in yard. i was sitting on our deck and they started to come up to me. they looked intimidating, but somehow i tamed them and they were acting like untrained (but friendly) dogs. one wolf in particular stood out to me. it was white with little light brown streaks on its face.---> To see a wolf in your dream, symbolizes beauty, solitude, mystery, self-confidence and pride. You are able to keep your composure in a variety of social situations and can blend in with any situation with ease and grace. You are a loner by choice. Negatively, it represents hostility and aggression. It may also reflect an uncontrollable force or situation in your life. In particular, if the wolf is white, then it signifies valor and victory. You have the ability to see the light even in your darkest hours.

weekend update

friday was full of adventure. Lynzi and i went to mt. prospect to meet sarah jessica parker. she was there promoting her clothing line. well we didn't get there early enough and since there there were a lot of people, we couldn't meet her. we took lots of pictures though. she's so pretty to look at! we were wearing high heels so we decided to give up due to our aching feet. we got back on the interstate to drive to another mall where they had a Hot Topic. we got there in plenty of time for their blaqk audio listening party. the whole album wasn't that impressive. there were lots of stupid young teenage girls there for it. they are too young for our generation. ugh... annoying. well after that we went to MAC and there was this fucking hot guy working there. he came up to us asking if we needed help and our faces all of a sudden glazed over because he was so beautiful. too bad he was gay haha. after that we drove back to our town to sit down for dinner. the rest of the night was dead. no one in town was doing anything so we just called it a night.

on saturday i slept in and in the afternoon lynzi came over to work on our scrapbook. we did our work on the floor of my room while listening to some good music. then we went to my grandmas house for dinner.

today was very boring. when i went to bed the night before my throat kinda hurt and it still did this morning so i slept in until about 2ish. i pretty much had the house to myself so i made chocolate chip pancakes while watching the patriot. after i got done watching that movie i watched the day after tomorrow. then after that i watched rock of love. that show is so funny. rodeo went home tonight. i don't like her... she had too much kid issues. well, after that show was over i made mac n' cheese and watched bend it like beckham. i miss playing soccer. man, today was super dull. well when it rains i get in those moods.

tomorrow i should be getting up early to make some calls and do some paper work concerning the taxi accident that i was involved in 2 months ago. the hospital and doc bills are adding up and i'm sure as hell not paying for them!

stick it to the man,
dawn

moose dream

last night i had a bizarre dream that i was walking through woods (that looked like a campsite). what i was walking on was like a drawstring bridge, but it was only a few inches off of the ground. after i got into the little dirt road town i started being chased by a bull moose. i hate the dreams when you are running as fast as you can, but you can't seem to move. well anyways, it chased be back to the bridge and there were pieces of wood gone from it so i had to be careful. the moose caught up to me but next thing i knew i was riding on top of him. he seemed not to care that i was there. everyone was watching me. then he got tired and laid down. i was trying to wake him up because i wanted another ride.

i looked up what moose means, and here it is...
To see a moose in your dream, represents long life and longevity. It may refer to the elders around you. Alternatively, a moose may also indicate that you can be both powerful and gentle.

so maybe this means that i will have a long life, but it will be hard (the missing pieces of wood). the powerful part may refer to that i'm having difficulties (again, the missing pieces of wood) in my life right now, but i am still powerful and will get through them. as for the elders around me, my grandma is really old, lives across the street from me and is still kicking. maybe she is the moose LOL