restless times

i really need a change in life. i'm very bored, lonely, and restless.
i need... my friends, new job, to ace my math test tomorrow, new music discoveries, go to a concert, re-connect with old friends, move away to a foreign land, see my dead grandpa, get incredibly shit faced, travel all over the world, go on a game show and earn some fat cash, and the list goes on and on. most of all i want a guy who i can tell all my friends that i love him with all my heart.
i over analyze too much. maybe i should just follow my heart and ignore what my head is yelling at me.
...or maybe i just need to change myself and not change the things around me.


"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the answer is always there."

question mark,
dawn

peacock dream

the other night i had a dream that i was in my living room and all these baby peacocks were hatching. it was hard not to step on them.

--> To see a peacock in your dream, represents spring, birth, and new growth. It is a good omen, signaling prestige, much success and contentment with your career. It may also be telling of your confidence and even arrogance over your success.
Maybe the hatching peacocks mean that a part of me is trying to re-grow or start over. Then me not trying to step on the babies mean that i'm trying not crush my new growth?